Today started out good the sun was shining and there was a cool breeze blowing. I went out to do some errands before I had to head off to my son's school for field day. I had the radio on while I was driving and the great music just kept on coming. I had the window down and was singing and dancing. Going from place to place getting things done got home after all was complete had some lunch.
I was so excited about going to see my boy I have been going to all of his school events since he was in preschool. It's a mothers right to go to these functions to cheer him and his classmates on. It has always been such a joy for me to see him do well he is a fast runner so he is always the one who has to do all the running events.
But my day went horribly wrong see today was the day I as a mother have been dreading for 11 years (that is how old my boy is). Today I realized my boy is growing up and he didn't want me to be at his school for field day. I know this because in all of his school years he was always excited to see me come walking in the room or out on the field whatever the case may be. Today was different he avoided me just came over to me when I said "hey son how is it going". SIGH!
I sat next to him as I have always done and he didn't say a word he just looked around at all the other kids chatting with them cheering with them. Ok that's fine I can understand that is what they do but. As I sat there beside my son I could sense his uncomfortableness. So I said to him "Did you want me to hang here or go ahead and go" Know what he said he said "You can go if you want". :( That took a big chunk out of my heart.
So I said "Ok son have fun and good luck" . I was going to go and stand in the back of the room so I could wait for him to be in an event because when I had gotten there he hadn't had a turn yet. So I go to the back where I can see him but he can't see me and wait. Luckily he was in the next evet so I got a chance to se him. The event was called moon walking the kids had these metal alien looking things on their heads that they had to walk to the cone at the end while balancing these alien things on their heads. Well he was walking along and I am smiling wide watching him and low and behold he sees me and stumbles and drops the things on his head and gives me a look of disappointment.
I felt my heart break as he bent down to pick up the alien things and go back to the beginning and start all over. So I put my tail between my legs swallowed my heart and walked out of the building. I was thinking to myself the whole way to my car Oh my goodness my son doesn't need me anymore. I had to hold back the tears that I felt burning in my eyes. How could this happen? When did this happen? How do I deal with this?
I guees it's all a part of growing up and I have to learn that in private my son is mommy's baby boy. At school and in public he is my big strong man. This is something I will deal with in my own time and my own way. I still LOVE my boy.