A Mothers realization

Today started out good the sun was shining and there was a cool breeze blowing. I went out to do some errands before I had to head off to my son's school for field day. I had the radio on while I was driving and the great music just kept on coming. I had the window down and was singing and dancing. Going from place to place getting things done got home after all was complete had some lunch.

I was so excited about going to see my boy I have been going to all of his school events since he was in preschool. It's a mothers right to go to these functions to cheer him and his classmates on. It has always been such a joy for me to see him do well he is a fast runner so he is always the one who has to do all the running events.

But my day went horribly wrong see today was the day I as a mother have been dreading for 11 years (that is how old my boy is). Today I realized my boy is growing up and he didn't want me to be at his school for field day. I know this because in all of his school years he was always excited to see me come walking in the room or out on the field whatever the case may be. Today was different he avoided me just came over to me when I said "hey son how is it going". SIGH!

I sat next to him as I have always done and he didn't say a word he just looked around at all the other kids chatting with them cheering with them. Ok that's fine I can understand that is what they do but. As I sat there beside my son I could sense his uncomfortableness. So I said to him "Did you want me to hang here or go ahead and go" Know what he said he said "You can go if you want". :( That took a big chunk out of my heart.

So I said "Ok son have fun and good luck" . I was going to go and stand in the back of the room so I could wait for him to be in an event because when I had gotten there he hadn't had a turn yet. So I go to the back where I can see him but he can't see me and wait. Luckily he was in the next evet so I got a chance to se him. The event was called moon walking the kids had these metal alien looking things on their heads that they had to walk to the cone at the end while balancing these alien things on their heads. Well he was walking along and I am smiling wide watching him and low and behold he sees me and stumbles and drops the things on his head and gives me a look of disappointment.

I felt my heart break as he bent down to pick up the alien things and go back to the beginning and start all over. So I put my tail between my legs swallowed my heart and walked out of the building. I was thinking to myself the whole way to my car Oh my goodness my son doesn't need me anymore. I had to hold back the tears that I felt burning in my eyes. How could this happen? When did this happen? How do I deal with this?

I guees it's all a part of growing up and I have to learn that in private my son is mommy's baby boy. At school and in public he is my big strong man. This is something I will deal with in my own time and my own way. I still LOVE my boy.

My Tornado bag

Why is it that thunderstorms always happen at night? The news said all day that storms were coming and no sooner did the sun go down and I hear the rumble in the distance.

OH NO! Panic sets in!!!

So I figure I will just sit and watch Greys so I turn on the TV and as soon as I do I see tornado watches for the county we live in. You see having lived in Jersey my whole life I never really was scared of thunderstorms, I'm not saying I liked them they may have made me a little uncomfortable but here in N.C . they just seem more intense.

Add to that the tornado watches and warnings and I find myself wishing my mommy and daddy were here.

So let me get back to where I was, so I see the warnings going across the screen and hear the thunder and see the flashes of lighten happening more and more frequently. The TV is freezing up (we have dish network it kept losing signal) I decide to get together what I call my tornado bag lol. Really it isn't funny if my friends could only see me I go around the house gathering up things for me and the kids.

What sort of things well undies to make sure if the tornado really does hit here and we lose everything at least me and the kids will have clean undies.Tissues because they fit in my so-called tornado bag better than a roll of TP. Snacks because well they to fit in my bag easier than ice to keep cheese or milk you know fridge things. A change of clothes for us all to ensure that we will be able to have clean clothes after a few days. (I don't know why I grab theses things I am in panic mode)

I also make sure to keep band aids and antibiotic cream in case someone gets a boo boo. I have to say one thing during all this panic and packing all I can think about (and I know some people will be upset with me but) is oh man I forgot to get smokes the store is going to be blown away and I am going to be out of cigs. That is the worst feeling if your a smoker knowing that something terrible might happen and there will not be any cigs to calm your nerves.

So while I'm packing and worried about the storm the kids the pets no smokes my husband calls (he is a truck driver and is on his way to California) he says "what ya doing?"

I say there is a bad thunderstorm going on there is watches and warnings all over the TV so I am getting things together. He says "what kind of things?"

Well I proceed to tell him the things I am packing and he starts laughing at me. I can not believe it I am here having a panic attack and he laughs. He says "Stinky" (that's what he calls me) "What are you doing?"

He thinks I worry to much about it but he is not here it's just me and the kids and I am a little uneasy. But anyway he calmed me down and I was finally able to gather my thoughts, you see while I was talking to him on the phone the storm had finished and to my wonderful surprise no TORNADO. So I get myself ready for bed because now I can sleep. While I am getting ready for bed I looked at my tornado bag and said I will put everything back in the morning.